| (no subject) |
[Dec. 21st, 2009|01:54 am] |
1. What did you do in 2009 that you'd never done before?
Went paintballing. Hated it. I didn't like getting shot or shooting at people. Ended up giving my ammo to my friend and sitting it out.
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
My resolution was to learn how to garden and cook. I made a garden but didn't try to cook. I'll carry that into 2010
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
My brother and a friend
4. Did anyone close to you die?
My brother's godfather. First funeral I've been to. It was sombre.
5. What countries did you visit?
None.
6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
A much higher income.
7. What date(s) from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
My time in Melbourne. Australia Day. Meeting Hookie. Starting my movie. Out with friends.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
My movie, just working on it. I love it. I love the process of working on it.
9. What was your biggest failure?
I lost $3000 when a company I freelanced for went bust. I can't really blame myself for it, but I've learnt to follow my gut more and be more unforgiving with business.
10. Did you suffer any illness or injury?
Muscle fatigued for most of the year. It seems to have ended.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
My new computer.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My neice. She knows what a clock is and where my nose is.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
My family has been on my back. It's made me aware that I've never tried being on my own.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Living expenses.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
I was really excited about meeting Hookie in 77
16. What song will always remind you of 2009?
"Danny Elfman - A Choice" from Hellboy 2 soundtrack. From 3:00 to 4:00 makes me cry. It's Nevada theme from my movie that is played at the end of my storyboard. It's how I know that this movie works.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you: happier or sadder?
I don't believe in such emotions.
ii. thinner or fatter?
More athletic.
iii. richer or poorer?
Neither. Haven't earned much, haven't spent much. It's about the same. I think my worth has increased though.
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
I wish I'd done more social stuff. Maybe meet a few more girls I'd be into. But I've just hadn't had the desire to go out of my way for that.
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Procrastinate. Spend less time with computer games.
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
With the family. With two new additions.
22. Did you fall in love in 2009?
Not with people. But I've fallen in love with many ideas and fictional characters.
23. How many one night stands?
One, but I was hoping it would lead to something more.
24. What was your favourite TV program?
The last season of Angel, How I Met Your Mother, SGU and Big Bang Theory.
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
No one I know in real life.
26. What was the best book you read?
I'm reading non-fiction. Plenty of books have helped me with my movie project - can't say which has been the best.
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Inon Zur composer is showing some potential. And the Eve Online soundtrack is heaven to listen to while working.
28. What did you want and get?
I wanted to follow my dream and make a movie. It's still happening.
29. What did you want and not get?
Learning to cook. Just no time.
30. What was your favorite film of this year?
I enjoyed Avatar in 3d. It had me involved for the full three hours but I wasn't blown that away. Not for their budget.
31. What did you do on your birthday?
Pleasured by my mistress.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Either more sex, or more affection. Leaning to more sex.
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
Threadless, boring and unchanged.
34. What kept you sane?
Haaa. I've become very hermit and isolated. I think this is the new sane though.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Illyria played by Amy Acker in the final episodes of Angel. Oh god she is off the charts in win.
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Banning R+18 games and censoring the Internet.
37. Who did you miss?
If I missed anyone I would have contacted them. Didn't miss anyone, except maybe old lovers.
38. Who was the best new person you met?
Hookie. Emma was pretty nice to.
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009.
Go with your gut. Suffering to the conquered. Serve no master but your own ambition.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
Can't be done. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 15th, 2009|03:22 am] |
So this is something.
For a week and a bit I've been stuck on how to rewrite the middle act of my short film. It had to be shorter, with more heart, with more terror - without it being boring. I came up with loads of messy ideas, nothing would stick. I grew increasingly frustrated seeing no end.
And then, it just came to me. It wrote itself out in 10 - 20 min. You know what it was that got me into state? An internet forum fight. I don't know how it happen, I devote time effort and tiny bit of love into the discussion only to see it fall apart. After that, it's like a felt the gears in my mind work and the character spoke to themselves while I wrote it down.
It's like out of the firestorm a snowflake appeared. I guess inspiration can come from the oddest places. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 14th, 2009|12:53 am] |
Things I did last weekend.
Had Pad Thai
Painted a house
Moved stuff into a house
Taught Nevada where my nose was
Fed Jake a milk bottle for the first time
Drove with the sunroof off
Broke my phone by dropping it into a bucket of water.
Watched season 3 & 4 of how I Met Your Mother
Fell in love with Salvanis and fled from the Lick King. That was my favourite.
I'm spending too much time with my family. They annoy the shit out of me. It's probably because I still live with my mother. One side is that I get away with paying no rent which is how I'm able to work on my dream movie full time. The more real side is I don't have a life, not having fun and wishing I was somewhere else. I'm going to really move out next year. I have to. Probably even out of this city. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 10th, 2009|01:34 am] |
The script and storyboard looked great in paper. But when you put them together in an editing software to form a movie, that's when foundations are really tested. Sadly for me, the movie doesn't work when the script is spoken aloud. The pacing is off, and the dialogue is jarring. The scenes with no dialogue work brilliantly, so I think it's just a problem with my writing.
I'm experimenting with the possibility of stripping away all dialogue and just have it a music driven movie - rich with sound effects. But again, it isn't working. I need some dialogue to make a few things clear. That Red is Earth's creator. That Red destroying the world is beneficial in the long run. And that Blue joins with Red until he is instructed to kill Nevada to which he rebels.
It's really doing my head in to show these plot point rather than say. I'll have to learn to do it subtly and quickly. Moral ambiguity is usually a long drawn out thing.
I'm stuck on this point, I can't move on to pre-vis until I get this storyboard/script sorted as a movie draft. I'm sure it'll happen by the end of the week, but I'd thought I blog about this to show I'm really struggling now. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 27th, 2009|12:49 am] |
Busy as a bee
I'm starting editing for pre-visual draft. Biiig problem. Movie can't be longer than 7min, I'm at 9.5 min. That's two and a half minutes I have to cut. I'll have to cut scenes that are not essential, dialogue that could be done without and other stuff I just don't want to cut. It's hard because I think all these scenes are important and have a place. I guess I have to be strict on it, anything that does not directly add to the choices in this movie and the climax will have to be taken out. I would love a friend who has a eye on this stuff to help me out.
I was afraid of this, I feared the timing issue right when I started. After this it ought to be breezy, but I'm expecting a week or two of hair pulling. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 27th, 2009|12:41 am] |
Things I learnt playing COD 6:
1 I'd accidentally shoot more friendlies than targets
2 The military scares the shit out of me
3 I'd be the first to die |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 27th, 2009|04:17 pm] |
Never thought I'd see this coming, but The My Time Here project is coming to a close. At least the pre-production side is. The pre-production includes design, scope and creating every asset I need. It represents about 70% of the project workload. All the big challenges are gone and I'm pretty confident I can zombie my through the rest of the production without any issues. It'll still be early 2011 before the public sees it mind you.
Anyway, it has opened my mind up to the possibility of what I'm going to next. I figured I could join an agency (no thx) or do something completely different.
I've been looking into casual game market such as farmville and cafeworld with great interest. Interest because I'm skilled enough to create a game such as this, and interest because people are getting comfortable with spending real money for virtual items. Ridiculously, the company that created these games are earning around 100-250 million per year. I would like some of that pls.
So I figured, I could create a social game such as this and it could be about...
drum roll.........
raving
The way I see it, you create an avatar of yourself and the goal is to increase your stats, exp and gold like they do in farmville/WoW for the good of the rave scene, or for the fall of the rave scene. You could choose to be either a kandi raver or jader raver and join your friends in a multiplayer experience. You help the scene by dancing, making bracelets, putting on good shows - or if you are more evil, causing trouble and sabotaging the kandi raver experience. Just like in real life. Every time you do this, you get rewarded with more exp which in turn will lead to more dance moves, stronger abilities and more money. The cycle goes on forever.
The rave culture is fairly huge and open, the ideas write themselves after you've been to a few of them. It's a rich and involving world which I really feel people are going to love if someone tried to recreate a virtual experience anyone could play. I think this would be a real opportunity here to use my powers for good, and make a quid out of it to. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 18th, 2009|01:37 am] |
I got a camera. It cost a lot. I find it's easy to get good results without trying with it, these are all taken with fully auto. Would love to learn how to use the aperture settings or the distance blur manually - but it seems like it's not really necessary. AMIDOINIRITE?
( Presenting my family: ) |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 10th, 2009|11:02 pm] |
This week has been slow. It's always slow when you have a big night and don't sleep till two days later. Messes up your internal clock and brain functions, can't operate at a normal level. Honestly, not worth it.
I've been trying to do 3d virtual sets this week. It's not working too well. It's too much work for too small of details. Anyway, I think I'm doing things the wrong way about them. There is an easier method called projection mapping. You take photo shoots of real life backgrounds and turn them into flat 3d. The richness of the texture is supposed to make it seem as if it is real 3d... to a point. This video is an example.
That means I'll have to step up and buy a proper camera. Those digital slr ones that are around $1500 - $2000 and you can attach lens to them and whatever. I've got my eye on the Canon EOS 500D. Big purchase, not looking forward to it. But it's the only way of getting those backgrounds looking hot. My next and last big purchase down the line will be the music library, probably be worth the same figure.
My only concern is how to get the trees looking real. They need to sway in the breeze otherwise they will look fake. Options include: create them in 3d and render out as a layer. Film them against the sky and key out the sky blue colour and use as a layer. Or look into buying some stock footage of alphe trees.
I'll worry about that later.
( Here is a a test layout on what a typical still frame would look like from the movie ) |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 6th, 2009|12:36 am] |
Been up for an insane 36 hours now thanks to acid. But I couldn't go to bed without writing a blog that's non work relate. Hell I can't go to bed at all, and I've got nothing better to do. This is hell. And I'm in it.
Remind me never to do this shit. There's no off button. And I'm coming down really hard. REALLY HARD.
Especially doesn't help when you just finish off the Angel season for good. You know... the one where everyone you fall in love from Buffy/Angel either dies or becomes evil. You just give each of the characters your hearts and they take it. What's even worse, they make it so it's 'ok' to die or be evil for the things you are supposed to believe in. It's just a fucking mess. That bastard Joss Wheaton knew exactly what he was doing. And I've just started with Dexter, but I'm quickly discovering how even more fucked up that show is.
What I'm sick of the moment: conflict. It's everywhere. In every good story, there's conflict. Conversation: Conflicts. Love, sex, violence, war - conflict conflict conflict. I understand how it works, Tony Robbins gave the example: You walk past a newspaper with "sunny" on the front, you smile and walk by. You walk past a newspaper with "hurricane", you buy the damn thing. But does it really need to be in every single damn thing?
It's all getting a bit too much for me. I don't know if fighting for the things you believe in makes you a good person or a bad person anymore. For example, my dad is dying, and I know I should take some time out to meet with him and forgive him for the years of traumatic fear and abuse he did to me while growing up. But you know, I don't really want to do that. I want him to spend the final days that he has to suffer alone... but then that would make me a monster. Like him. A good person would take time out from his busy life, sit with him for an afternoon, and thank him for being such a prick of a man. Otherwise I wouldn't be the special twisted artist I am today. And I'm a good person, so I have to do that. And it's going to be hard. The hardest thing I'll probably ever do. But I know it's the right thing to do. And fuck I'm crying.
The thing is, this conflict - it's in the heart of all dramas. Every good video game, every great play - whenever things get dull, someone needs to die or get dark. I really hope real life isn't like that. But it is, isn't it. I have to remember to appreciate every right moments with the people I love - all the time. But it's so hard and so easy to forget to do all the time.
Here's the kicker. The My Time Here project, my characters are all like this. The good guy is doing a bad thing out of love, while the bad guy is doing a good thing out of duty. I apologise for all the minds I'm going to fuck over, but it's not my fault I had this upbringing.
Why couldn't Buffy and Angel just be together after Season 2? It's just not fair.
Need hugs please. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 3rd, 2009|02:59 pm] |
I spend this week doing prop work. Very proud I did everything in a week. Thought it would take me a little over a month for it all. Google Earth helped me a lot, seeing most of the work had been done by other people. Still needed to touch things up.
( MOAR )
Most of these building and landmarks will be destroyed, maimed or vaporised. I needed to recreate them in 3d so I could blow them up against a live background. Like how they do it in the movies.
Next week will be creating 3d digital sets - something I'm not looking forward to. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 1st, 2009|12:09 am] |
Whelp, it's the first of October. Which means my month long celibacy vow is now over. And thank god. It was touch and go there towards the end, I was starting to have realistic flashes of past episodes. But I did go diligently without pleasure and I now I feel the stronger for it.
Let it be known that the last paragraph was an outright fabrication. I was twelve days in before deciding that this whole thing was a stupid idea and visited a lady friend of mine to make it all better again. After all, I'm only young once. There's plenty of time for no sex when things are more winkling and dysfunctional.
Anyway, I think there are better ways of testing self-discipline that are much more beneficial to me. Such as eating healthy, exercising or staying focus on my work. Which is what I do. Everyday. So I suppose I was just looking for that extra edge.
But biology, it doesn't stop for no one. Glands just keep going. There's no off button. Who'd be silly enough to fight against that? Is anyone really celibate these days anyway? I think hardcore Christians are, but hardcore Christians are doing it for the wrong reasons. I turn to Buddhism to see what they say, and they say go nuts as long as you don't hurt anyone, or don't let the desire consume you. That's what I like about Buddha, it's as down to Earth as it gets.
Right then. If I ever try this again, tell me it's a stupid idea. Itchy ear was right. If you excuse me, I'm going to waste some time on an adult sites watching people do things they'll regret later. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 30th, 2009|03:00 am] |
Sometimes, I catch myself feeling something while I'm working.
It's happening right now.
It's 3am and I'm recreating the opera house in 3d. How did I get here? How do I own this $6000 software? How do I even know how 3d works? I should still be at Big W, stocking shells. Or at pizza hut, delivering pizzas. Like some of the other people I used to work with.
But no. I'm here doing this. What I've always wanted to do since high school.
Sometimes I catch myself feeling something while I'm working.
And it's amazing.
This must be what it means to be happy for me. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 18th, 2009|11:52 pm] |
Check out the youtube page for widescreen.
Needs a little polish before finals - but I'm happy with the result. Just a few minor tweaks to the characters, and then it's onto props and effects. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 11th, 2009|01:10 am] |
I'm 11 days in out of 30 days from my refrain from all sexual activity. This is a record, the longest I've been is 4 days.
Sadly, things are not like the protagonist in 40 days and 40 nights because I'm not hallicinating about naked people on the bus. If anything, my sexual drive has shrunk. It seems my body knows what I'm up to and decided to stop pumping hormones in my blood. Sex is becoming distance, eroticism is boring to follow. Things ought to be more challenging, but there is not much internal conflict.
I had my fingers crossed that depriving myself would give me special powers. You know, seeing better, hearing sharper, more creative energy - things like that. That would have been worth it. All it's making me do is feel like I'm missing out on an important part of life. And for what? Some stupid lesson in discipline? FUCK YOU DISCIPLINE
But I'll keep going, even though I'm not sure why I should. There are better endeavours to partake in to practice self control. Then again, maybe this is just the weaker part of me trying to find justification in breaking lent.
Let's get to 15 days and see how I feel. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 11th, 2009|12:53 am] |
Trying out test animations for my movie
It's pretty cool, technically everything works. It's like in any profession, most of the work is done in 'prepping' - the actual doing is a breeze. I can punch out animations very quickly now that there's a system.
However, I noticed heaps of problems with the way the computer renders out some of the images. I couldn't figure out how to fix it after trying everything, so I uploaded the source files on 3d forums and asked for help. Turns out I'm using an older buggy version of 3dsmax and that I should upgrade.
So I have to upgrade the software.
But I figure, if I update the software might as well update the OS.
And I figure, if I'm doing that, might as well upgrade my hardware.
Next thing I know, I'm minus a few thousand dollars and my studio get's bigger.
It's just getting ridiculous now. 5 monitors, 7 processors, 10 gigs of ram and 4 terabytes of information across three workstations. And there's only one of me. In the peak of production, I'll be working on the dual screen, the laptop will be calculating the physics 24/7, and the piano computer will be rendering non stop. I'll be chair hopping like mad. I've wouldn't have made things this complicated if it wasn't necessary - and it is necessary to have a work system like this for what I'm doing.
I just hope one day, people will look back at what I did and say to themselves: wow, that guy was one massive dork. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 1st, 2009|11:18 pm] |
No Fap September!
Let's find out how long I can last. No sex or masturbation for a month.
Combat weapons: Meditation, zone outs, cold showers, warcraft.
The point? Lesson in discipline, self control, restraint and curiosity.
End of Day One:
No urges |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 27th, 2009|03:35 am] |
Seeing how my characters are just about done and ready to be made, I figured now would be a great time to storyboard the whole movie.
I've been carrying these scenes in my head for the past couple of years. Now that I have them on my wall as a hardcopy - I'm starting to enjoy letting it slip from my mind. I just hope they don't burst into flames anytime soon.
Two things I've noticed now that the movie is displayed as guides I can physically follow:
1) This movie won't be finished at the deadline of Jan 2010. I'm fine with it, I'll go for the year after. I'd rather have plenty of time next year and not rush it. This give me time to make a website for it, and maybe release a 'making of ' DVD which I can sell to digital students around the world for $30-$50 a pop.
2) I've got something really going here. Really going. Whenever I take time to follow it and envision it, I can feel my insides stir. The goal is the show everyone the fantasy I'm envisioning, and it's pretty powerful. So powerful in fact, I think it's bigger than Tropfest.
What's concerning me now is that I'm having doubts about showing it to Tropfest. There is a clause in their terms and conditions which states - 'if we accept your movie as a finalist, we will own exclusive rights to use your movie anyway fit'. I've been watching some other finalists on youtube and I've discovered they've allowed ads to be displayed over the top. I don't think I could stomach tropfest doing anything like that to my film. The clause limits to what I could do with the movie. I would like to own it and do whatever I like with it, but if tropfest owns it - this won't be allowed. There has always been a distinct bitter taste of tropfest doing what they do for commercial and corporate purposes, shadowing the artists and their work for their own profiteering, but I'm hoping things will be worth it. Now that I'm looking at these renders and the story come together, I don't think I could just hand it over, it's too good. Saying that, if I choose to go against tropfest, I do miss out on the big premiere at the domain and seeing thousands of people watch it all in one go.
It's a hard shot to call. Maybe I should track down some of the finalists and ask them personally what they thought of the experience... |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 18th, 2009|02:50 am] |
It's promising. Spent the last month putting bones in these characters and creating facial rigs. They can now move their bodies and show expression in the face.
No more picture creating now, it's time to make the movie. This is where the project really starts. I'm glad to get the developing characters process out of the way. It's not as artistic as it is technical. Now I can forget all about that stuff and focus on the story and the animating - that's where the real art is. |
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